surf, marry, kill...

(left to right)

CI single fin shaped by Al (ahem) Merrick, Allison GT Quad shaped by Will Allison, Bing bonzer shaped by Matt Calvani

...it is the year 2012 and civilization as we know it nears an abrupt ending. With home breaks being invaded by armed Chinese surfboards across the world, it has become a fight to save every last break on God's green Earth. The breakout of SurfWars(copyrighted!) has caused the military to ramp up it's super secret surf military division, the Tube Shooters. The U.S.S.A.'s (United Socialist States of America, founded 2008) military surf camps face a major surfboard shortage, and for the common good of the people everyone is forced to reduce their quiver to one board and donate the remainder to the troops. You're a stubborn, anti-war monger, dirty hippie and can't bear to know that some of your boards will be used in the bloodshed to follow.

You gaze at your 3-board quiver with a stiff upper lip, because its decision time, and you'll show these socialist bastards no emotion. Because tomorrow evening THEY will come for your surfboards. With a 4-6 foot swell beginning to fill in, its predicted to peak tomorrow morning, nicely groomed with offshore winds. Your options have come down to this: surf, marry, break.

The time of peace is waning and decisions must be made:

1. Choose 1 board to "surf" meaning you get to ride it 1 last time in perfect conditions in the morning, and then hand it off forever, but knowing it will remain in good hands.
   
2. Choose 1 board to "marry" which you will surf exclusively for the remainder of your journey on Earth, so make sure its versatile.
   
3. Finally, choose one surfboard that you will "kill" because you love it and don't want to see it used in fore coming bloodshed. You will have to insert this board into a wood chipper while being videotaped (for quality assurance purposes) and must watch a video loop of the tape for 5 minutes every morning for the rest of your life.

Your choices are above, so let's hear it...