Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Wha' happen???



...this was a BRAND NEW NEVER IN THE WATER CI BISCUIT! until something went horribly wrong. Let's hear your scenario of what went down causing this devastating blow to some unknown Folly Beach resident's ego, and quiver. Pound some coffee, get creative and post it. Prize to the winner.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

trying to see how "cool" he will look on coffee table in front of mirror. when all of a sudden "da line broke....da monkey get choked....dey all went to heaven in a little row boat" aka...fell off table breaking new board. but i doubt he would let this story out!

Chucklehead said...

The board fell off the roof rack on the way to the first surf.....easy.

I.R. said...

Didn't fall off the roof rack on the way to the first surf. Anonymous is the closest so far.

Anonymous said...

stair surfing!

Anonymous said...

newbie trying to learn to pop up with the fins on.

I.R. said...

A little Randall-esque stair surfing would have been cool, but that's not it either.

djjahd said...

this def. comes from standing on it on land... i have to say it maybe happened in the shop... trying to see how good they looked or how good would fit them.... looks expensive.

Anonymous said...

ok...so i am the closest so far...ummm...pop ups on the bed? did i get warmer or cooler? let me know if i need to go crazier...i can have a chicken in the equation real quick!

Chucklehead said...

Angry girlfriend.

djjahd said...

i need to hear this chicken put into the story

I.R. said...

Please add a chicken for these guys. And maybe a high dollar German export of some kind...

Anonymous said...

strapped it too tight on his womanly BMW Z-3 and it buckled

Anonymous said...

Since there is no said limit on the number of scenarios in one's answer...Either:

A)Cracked it by practicing his pop-up onto his feet standing with the board resting on an inserted hard surface.

Or

B)Ran into some heat while surfing without a leash, cracked the board over a jelly-doughnut-loving cop's belly right before he made a break for it.

Or

C)Was having some fun with a C of C girl on an impromptu bed.

Or

Maybe all of this in one night in any order!?

Burchinator said...

What can brown do for you? Shipping or Forklift!

Anonymous said...

easy...dude bought new board. got home and decided to check out how his new salon bought tan would look with new board. positioning himself on board in front of mirror he proceeded to pose. while checking all his angles he sees his dog trying to hump a chicken on his german exported bmw hybrid. causing current pose position to become unsteady resulting in a fall to the floor breaking his board.

I.R. said...

Close. It wasn't the dog humping the chicken, it was a Porsche and...

Anonymous said...

and he was humping the chicken when his mom.....

djjahd said...

Ok ..... New board inside the porsche.... not on top so therefore it had to be in the front seat.. no seatbelt.... while looking at himself in his rearview mirror. Maybe he missed a stop sign and then crash. Rearends another car. Breaks his new board and brings it back to the shop to try and blame the company any get a new one..... booya

Anonymous said...

All right, all right....I admit it, I put it in the porsche, on top of my chicken humping pekinese pooch, forgot to seat belt the dog and the board. The damn dog started humping a fin and as I tried to get him off the board before he creamed on it, making the wax job a jizzy mess....I ran a stop sign and hit the jelly doughnut eating cop, causing me to bounce off his cruiser and into the parking lot then the wall of the cool new beach wear shop launcing the board through the shop window and into an unsuspecting tourist from Ohio. Who in their fit of anger at my causing them to drop their 64 oz. soda, then threw the board out into Folly, to be run over by a construction truck on it's way to build the townhomes where Barrier Island once stood. It was a freak accident, I swear!!!

Hey Ian, can I buy some Sun Cure??? I think I'll need a few large tubes.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, I forgot...you should see what happened to my Fishcuit!!!

djjahd said...

i almost choked on my lunch.... that was solid old kook

Anonymous said...

hahaha.....old kook....sounds like you know what you are talking about! not the first time it has happened to you huh?

I.R. said...

1.New board inside the porsche...CHECK
2.Not on top so therefore it had to be in the front seat...CHECK
3.while looking at himself in his rearview mirror... not confirmed but I wouldn't put it past him so CHECK!

Add in the chicken again and a sunroof...

Anonymous said...

Old Kook...I happened to be the one that just sold the jelly filled doughnuts to that cop, and although it was all poetry in motion I have to state that I noticed you left out the part where the construction worker was distracted by the C of C girl that was dressed like she belonged in Marrion Square, and caused him to run over your board once it was thrown into Folly.

Anonymous said...

What is a C of C girl and how do they dress?

djjahd said...

alright i really want to win this thing..... Surfboard, frontseat, hanging out of the sunroof.. Dude checkin' himself out in the mirror while pulling into his garage, the door not fully open and he procedes as normal not remembering that this beutiful stick is protruding out of the sunroof. The rubber chicken hangs from the ceiling of the garage to guide parking just as a tennis ball would. The board breaks because this dude did not let the garage door fully open. Now i have to go to work.......

Anonymous said...

Not from Folly...C of C girl is a College of Charleston girl. And they are known for the most of them dressing 1 to 3 sizes too small depending on the look and frame of given body. But, don't take my word for it...

Anonymous said...

djjahn....that sounds suspiciously on target...but, if you win, I want half of the Taco Boy gift certificate.

Anonymous said...

It was the newbie,
with a trunk,
in the porche...

Angle of the snap and size of board solved this one...

Anonymous said...

I still like my chickin humping theory. That deserves something!

Anonymous said...

OK...it was not a chicken, but a "chick in" my porsche which led me to the situation in the first place. She has one of those lap dogs that fits in her purse, well she brought it to the surf shop with us, damn things goes everywhere. Thought when we moved from Ohio to settle on Folly Island that the dog would stay. With her in the passenger seat of my new porsche with her lap dog, I could not fit my new ride. Ian at the surf shop said that if I ever wanted to use the board properly, I would have to get rid of the bitch...not sure what he meant my that...

I.R. said...

"Surfboard, frontseat, hanging out of the sunroof.. Dude checkin' himself out in the mirror while pulling into his garage, the door not fully open and he procedes as normal not remembering that this beutiful stick is protruding out of the sunroof. The rubber chicken hangs from the ceiling of the garage to guide parking just as a tennis ball would. The board breaks because this dude did not let the garage door fully open."

Elementary my dear Watson! Except that the garage door is just an overhang. He said it made one of the most violent noises he's ever heard. You've won a gift certificate to the MUSTARD SEED in MOUNT PLEASANT and a meet and greet with the CHEF!

Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion...

Anonymous said...

F-ing beautiful!!! Although, my scenario was pretty close...kind of...well maybe.

Good work djjahd

djjahd said...

what the hell!!!! gift certificate to Seed. Cool for everyone but me. Thanks Ian!!??!!

Chaz Green said...

I would feel sorry for him if he didn't drive a porsche.