one fowl rooster tail...

According to many fitness magazines, I have what is known as "chicken leg syndrome". This is laughable...no, go ahead and laugh, it's funny. My bodily resemblance to this caged, practically flightless fowl explains my ability to launch massive credit card airs. But did you know that the chicken is the closest living relative to the Tyrannosaurus Rex? It's true, and it explains why these skinny little chicken legs have been crushing fiberglass tails for days, and also why I have to take a few extra paddles to get into a wave. (i.e. the short arms)

Basically, I needed to combat these limbs of Tyrannosaurus dynasty or risk losing another good surfboard to tail cancer. Since money is an object, that wasn't an option. I needed some high-tech carbon fiber materials and a little dash of the Colonel's secret recipe to spice up my daily driver...

...well, not this daily driver, but why not? Add a little carbon fiber to your diet, use this toilet seat and next thing you know you'll be crapping out stealth bombers for Obama faster than you can say "It's socialism!"

This right here is one 5'7" performance twin, which after 2 surfs already required repair in the heel and toe regions of the tail. I first cut a piece of carbon fiber, or Chicken Skin™ as I've trademarked it, and laminated it to the deck over the damaged areas and into the foot wells.

Here I've laid out Chicken Stripz™, which will add overlap on the carbon fiber which allowing for a smoother blend into the existing glass job. We want to keep weight down so we only use the leanest, all white meat Chicken Stripz™ instead of glassing over the entire dark meat Chicken Skin™.

We'll also get a better bond with the deck using 4oz Chicken Stripz™ because they saturate better than carbon fiber due to it fibrous density. I'm using a polyester sauce for laminations, my own Hott 'n' Swanky™ flavor, and hot coating with Straight Butta™.


And there you have it, the CHICKEN WIRE™ or ROOSTER TAIL™, the world's first specifically built chicken-proof surfboard. Go ahead Nev, try and top that.

Would the guys on Swaylocks be impressed? No, but who cares about them. Shaper of the Year award, I wouldn't be surprised. I just hope the surfer(ing) magazines are still in business in time for that issue.