Pool party...

...we often refer to the molded boards as "pool toys", and this photo found on the manufacturer's own website further confirms our presumptions. But these are performance enhancing pool toys for those looking to increase "poolside bronzing" by 85%. But that's not all! In the new ESM mag Southeastern Surf Tech rep Jason Motes, a really good surfer in his own right, is quoted as saying "I love the fact that I get to promote a product I believe has made my surfing 100-percent better. Go try a Surf Tech, and you'll see what I mean."

Are you blowing smoke up my arse? So let me get this straight. For only $660 and a bottle of rum I can get a cool buzz and a deeper, fuller tan while lounging poolside, followed by a session at The Washout where I proceed to crack four lippers on one wave then wack the bejesus out of it?*

Cannonball! Cannonball comin'.

Sounds a little bit like Carl the groundskeeper, but sign me up! I want the plastic Xanadu with the moon-tail I always see the person dropping in on me riding.

*( I'm not sure if my lipper math is correct. If you are surfing 100% better does that mean your surfing at 200%, or 2x better than you were surfing before, or if you were only surfing at 63% are you now surfing at 163% or if you can't surf at all now you can? Huh... what?)